Should I Give My Autistic Child Ear Defenders?
My little girl had realised that the washing machine wasn’t a threat. She realised that the ear defenders worked to protect her from the scary noise.
Some argue that giving ear defenders to an autistic child can make their sensory issues worse in the long run. The theory is that they get used to the ‘muted’ world, never learn to ‘get used to’ the noise of the real world, and eventually become even less tolerant of noise. This was a theory that I never really bought into - why would I refuse my child a disability aid through fear that she would become ‘too reliant’ on it? Why would I not make her intense struggles a bit more tolerable? I thought about what the worst result could be. Her growing into an adult who wears noise cancelling headphones often? Many people wear noise cancelling headphones, autistic or not, myself included. It didn’t feel like a good enough reason to withhold something that could make her life a great deal easier.
Before I bit the bullet and bought my daughter a pair of ear defenders, life was difficult. For the first 3 years of her life, we simply couldn’t go anywhere that was too noisy, because she simply couldn’t tolerate it. I would take her to quiet museums, only when the other children were in school. One of the biggest struggles we faced was using public toilets. If someone started using an automatic hand dryer when we were in there, it was game over. She wouldn’t just become upset by it - she would be absolutely hysterical. She would scream so urgently you’d think someone had stabbed her. It took a long time to calm her down. Eventually, we started using the accessible toilets, to eliminate the risk of unexpected hand dryers. Whenever we went anywhere, I had to make sure I knew where the accessible toilet was. They were honestly a life safer during those years.
I knew about the existence of ear defenders for autistic kids. For a long time, I stalled on getting a pair, because I assumed that my daughter wouldn’t tolerate them. I figured that having something tight around her head would be yet another sensory nightmare for her. But eventually I decided to give it a go, and ordered a pair of Edz Kids Ear Defenders from Amazon.
The first time I ever tried them on her was in a busy McDonalds in Newcastle City Centre. It was a little loud, nothing too extreme, but I thought I’d put them on her and see how it went. In line with my expectations, she pulled them straight off her head. Oh well, I thought, it was worth a try.
However, later that day came a moment that I will remember for the rest of my life. We were in the living room at home, and the washing machine had just started running its spin cycle. This was another thing that usually bothered her, and we simply couldn’t be in the kitchen whilst the machine was spinning. However, she heard the noise, went into my bag to find the ear defenders, put them on, and then headed into the kitchen. Entirely voluntarily, she walked right up to the washing machine - and placed her hand onto it.
My little girl had realised that the washing machine wasn’t a threat. She realised that the ear defenders worked to protect her from the scary noise. She realised that there was now nothing stopping her from walking right up to that previously terrifying machine and placing her hand right onto it.
She believed she could, so she did.
I was so proud that I could have burst.
A similar moment came just a few days later when we visited the museum. I put the ear defenders on her before we went into the toilets. Usually, after washing our hands, I would allow her to dry hers on my jeans. However, with her newfound confidence, she walked straight up to the previously terrifying hand dryer and started to dry her hands under it, laughing and smiling at the experience.
Our lives were changed forever.
Nowadays, she never uses them anymore. Around the age of 5, she started to notice other children looking at her, wondering what she was wearing. She started to feel ‘different’. She didn’t want to stand out. She gradually used them less and less - only when she really needed them - and eventually pretty much stopped altogether. She’s now 11, and the only time she really needs them is when we go to the cinema.
All in all, our experience with ear defenders has been a solid 10/10. She isn’t completely ‘typical’ when it comes to handling noise - but neither am I, an autistic adult who was raised without ear defenders. They improved our lives for several years, made many outings and activities possible that never would have been, and had absolutely no negative long-term effects as far as I can see.
If you’re on the fence about trying ear defenders with your autistic child, I would recommend it 100%. Just make sure to first try them on in a noisy place, so the child can immediately experience the relief and know exactly what they’re for.