17 Comments
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Mar 15, 2024
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May 5, 2024
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HEndri's avatar

Not blaming the mother, blaming the cult that pushes fathers out of children's lives ;(

Eliza Mann's avatar

Thank you for sharing your story! I love how you ended it: .”I wish that 17-year-old me had known that there is no wrong way to be a girl - that being a 'girl' is simply being born female, and that what you choose to do with it from there is entirely up to you.” I wish every girl on earth knew this simple truth!

James Loewen's avatar

What a well told story, Hazel, with a profoundly beautiful ending. If only every young person with these struggles could read your story and understand it, before making any life altering changes.

The more we can learn and understand why narcissistic parents act the way they do, the freer we become. Wishing you happiness in your life going forward.

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May 5, 2024
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Hazel Appleyard's avatar

Please calm down Natalia. I have had many other experiences with my mother that led to my conclusion that she is a narcissist. This is only part of the story.

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May 5, 2024
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Hazel Appleyard's avatar

I’m not religious.

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May 5, 2024
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Hazel Appleyard's avatar

Then maybe take your concerns elsewhere.

Agent Impossible's avatar

That is a powerful story. Thank you.

Agent Impossible's avatar

Very many girls go through phases, first in which they love the girly girl dressing up or are just ok with the mom doing that and then a phase when they no longer want that, but prefer just pants and sweaters and stuff. It certainly was true for me too.

Sharon Lee COWAN's avatar

Your story sounds very much like our daughter's, and she would probably say that I stressed her immensely, though of course to me it felt like the opposite. Anyway, the key to your desistance and detransition was to get away from the online obsession and rumination about trans. How I wish we had been able to create a situation like that for our daughter . . . We still have hope that someday she might turn back from this path, though.

Bev Jo's avatar

What a wonderful story, but I'm so sorry you had to go through that hell. I also was a girl with a mother who fake-feminized me in grotesque ways, putting me in short dresses that she pulled the shoulder straps down on, and sent me to school where I got reprimands. It was all about her getting attention, including bringing me to the bars where she'd put me on drunken stranger's men's laps.

I finally said no, but still had to wear dresses to school for 13 years. I hated it. And though I never wanted to be a boy (the ones I knew were abusive and tortured animals), I did not want to be what I was told a girl should be. I do hate to think what I would have done if the trans option was waved at me as aggressively as to you.

There is nothing intrinsically female in being fake "feminine" but females are so pressured now. I'm a Lesbian, and look natural, like a Dyke. I so hope you aren't pressured to go into what most consider "normal" for girls and women. There are so many rewards for playing that game, but clearly you didn't want it, and I wholeheartedly support you in being yourself. You are so inspiring!

Stealthy Mat's avatar

I think this provides some insight into how many FTM women feel. As a man, I have always been attracted to tomboys, my beautiful wife is a tomboy and our first son is on the way. It pains me greatly not only to think of the harm misguided women are causing to themselves but also the very healthy future male -> female tomboy relationships/marriages, like I have with my wife, that are being extinguished with the trans craze.

Ophidic's avatar

Sounds like little confused old you doesn't have the right to post the shit you do on twitter.

Fuck you and your pathetic little struggle.

HEndri's avatar

The most interesting part: After you moved in with you father things changed.

I'll make the statement that the lack of a father figure being prominent had the worst impact on you.. having that father back would make a change.

The problem is the men that had been messed by mothers.....

Glad you didn't transitioned and are happy in your birth body!

Richard Cameron's avatar

I’ve given you many ❤️s on Twitter. Your story is very moving. Your suffering has been very deep. I’m so glad you now feel well and comfortable in your own body. All strength to you. Look after yourself.